sad baby bereavement poems for baby funeral,tiny baby death,
The Bereavement section of Cheeky Chums offers a sensitive approach to a tiny baby loss, stillborn baby loss and baby bereavement products.

Here are some useful advice and poems to inspire speaches at funerals when sorrywords are not enough.To aid the greiving process of families suffering the loss of a premature baby.mums comment show they do help to cope with a baby loss no matter how small baby was when passing or when baby actually passed away months or years after. A precious look at memeories some time later can help to heal but you never forget.

Mummy do not weep as I take my final sleep,
I know you will still care even though I can't be there,
Life is so bitter sweet,treasure each moment until again we can meet.

Do not be angry at God up above,
It was him who sent me for little while to love.
I know you'll always miss me now that we're apart,
just keep a smile within you close to your very heart.

Mummy's little treasure wasn't here for very long,
and won't get the chance to hug her as she sings a lullaby song.
but baby dear you will be missed,
mummy's heart his with you sealed with a kiss.

I'll plant a little garden just for you my baby,
with tiny flowers and teddy bears fit for a little lady.
To get one wish, it would be bliss,
to hug you,to cuddle you and give you one more kiss.

You were lifes little miracle for the short time your were here,
But mummy and daddy still love you even though you 're no longer near.
forever apart but deep in our heart,we'll miss you special baby.

warning sensitive issue FETAL DEMISE early baby loss
Why discuss such a topic.Because babys do unfortunatley pass away in the womb and if we can let parents know of such terms the nursing staff may use can give parents just a little insight of what to expect in the worse case.

FETAL DEMISE - A term used to describe fetal death in utero; the loss of a fetus at any stage is a fetal demise.Intrauterine Fetal Death Demise (IUFD) is the death of a fetus that occurs for no apparent reason in a normal, uncomplicated pregnancy. It happens in about 1% of pregnancies and is usually (depending on the resource) considered a fetal death when it occurs after the 20th week of pregnancy and/or weight equal to or more than 500 grams. Generally speaking, a miscarriage is a fetal death which occurs prior to 20 weeks of gestation.

The mother's health is usually not jeopardized with intrauterine fetal demise.
Signs and symptoms of pregnancy may subside.

No symptoms may occur in the early stages of pregnancy. The diagnosis is based on the absence of fetal heart tones, the lack of uterine growth or ultrasound studies during prenatal examinations.

In later stages of pregnancy, a woman may be aware of changes in the fetal movement (kicks) or that the movement has stopped.
Parental feelings of loss, guilt, loneliness, anxiety and hostility should be acknowledged and faced. Family and friends can help with sympathetic listening and close physical comforting. If severe grief lasts longer than several months, professional counseling is recommended. Both the parents are urged to join a grief support group (available in most communities). evaluation of fetal death.

Helping a family come to terms with a loss...

How you can help the Family at this time of grief

Extended family can include grandparents and best friends of the grieving parents. Parents will be grieving and will feel numb and overwhelmed at the loss of a baby. During the grieving process offer to help an hand with collecting other children from school, doing shopping, running errands answering phone calls. Give plenty of cuddles but be patient if arguments happen, as the stress of it all can be unbearable to parents coping with the loss of an infant in particular. One person needs to take care of the funeral but if the parents are not up to it a family member who is strong enough should take over this role. Involve the parents every step of the way making sure their requirements are noted down and given to the relevant person. For example no flowers to be sent to the family or please send and money donations to the local hospital, special care baby unit. When one person takes charge support them so the pressure is taken off the parents and make sure too many people do not have their say that causes even more arguments. Let the parents have as much peace and quiet when they are home from the hospital as they can get. Take control over answering the door arranging flowers in vases etc but make sure cards are only opened by the parents when they feel up to it. Do not be tempted to clear the babys room unless its at the parents consent . Its all part of the grieving process for parents, coming to terms with the fact that the baby is gone and will not be coming home and finally saying their goodbyes. Finally take it easy on your self too if its you that carries a lot of the strain, try to relax and talk about your feelings with another adult family member. You need to be there for the family too ,so make sure you eat well, drink plenty and take plenty of rest.

early babies may be too fragile to dress in this case opt for a baby burial pouch which can be found here at Something Precious Premature Baby Burial Pouch TEDDY DESIGN by (fetal demise pouch) for babies under 1lb (0.5kg)
6.00

Something Precious Premature baby complete bereavement dress set PRETTY PRINCESS design 1-3lb
19.99

http://cheekychumsonline.co.uk/category_60/Something-Precious-Premature-Baby-Final-Resting-sets.htm

How To Get Cheap And Fashionable Clothes From China Drop Shipping
China is among the successful economic systems in the global. They propose almost each and every last merchandise which is connected with any walk of your lifetime. As Well, your retailing business enterprise can get millions of dollar bills in profits applying China drop transportation wholesale clothing. But you're expected to fulfill few legals before starting your wholesale clothing business concern. The number of forms and the text files required vary from one state to another and with one statute law to other legislation. You might reach your concerned tax departments in order to correctly continue with the operation. In this writing we'll give you some really functional hints that you should adopt in order to win.
1) Make it legal: As said earlier, you are required to fulfill some legitimate written papers earlier to beginning any business enterprise. These papers principally admit taxation papers which can find by offering enough particulars considering your business enterprise. Taxation ID number is merely like a social security number but it's for your business. If you are a retail merchant, so you should have a reseller permit from your nation which you must show to the wholesaler.
2) Find dropship companies: Drop transportation is regarded as the nearly profitable businesses as it truly dont ask for a single cent to invest. You merely need a electronic computer with an net connection in it and some skills of having your own internet site. Owning a private internet site for your www occupation is not a very serious job. Ready to use guides are visible online that simply requires to be uploaded with the pictures and details of you provided products. Ready to use and automated requital methods permits trafficker to readily assume defrayals.
You can easily discover a dropship party to provide you with the wholesale clothing stuff. You can obtain images and particulars of the merchandises from their www catalogs. A number of china drop ship services can be set up on net similar as TradeTang, LightInTheBox, ChinaVasion, and others.
3) Ask for discount: Recall that virtually each wholesale clothing provider provides immense discounts and deals as they have high markup values. You should definitely ask for discounts and just prefer for those wholesale clothing businesses providing reasonable amount of price reduction. This assists in popping up your overall earnings.
4) Get Ready: As you have determined your wholesale clothing supplier and have negotiated alongwith all the terms and prices, you must straightaway move to frame-up your online world to provide these products. Try to put comparability readinesses on your websites from which exploiters can compare like merchandises obtainable at numerous internet sites.
Provide your internet site with permeating alternatives so the user can straightaway head toward his preferred product. Otherwise it'll require a long-lasting time for the visitor to make his product and this is truly not a great exercise. You may spend a smaller amount on your internet site by hiring some pink-collar site designer for your wholesale clothing business enterprise.
5) Search for China drop shipping on eBay: eBay is another complete choice to preserve large and draw magnificent. You can discover a number of drop shipping providers on eBay offering several products at low-priced and low-cost prices. Excellence is ne'er down on similar products and you can intemperately bank on those merchandises for your wholesale clothing business organisation.
Dont forget to recognize consignment, handling, insurance policy and payment charges. This can add importantly to your gross price. Thus be great at marketplace explore.

First Impressions Baby Clothes Online
Nowadays, fashion is not just reserved for well dressed models and actors parading on the red carpet. Even babies nowadays are fashionable. Babies nowadays are no longer seen in plain baby clothing, and parents can find alternative clothing outside of shopping centers.

There are many types of toddler clothes for parents to choose. Considering the fact that babies are often noticed to be donning haute couture pieces, smart designers have capitalized on this trend by releasing their own baby clothing line. Names such as Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger and many more have successfully solidified their position in this baby clothing niche. Many departmental stores has these famous brands, and lesser known labels like First Impressions, Greendog, Little Me and Icky Baby.
First Impressions is one of the clothing designers that seeks to make shopping a memorable experience by having different catalogues and websites. The customer can now browse through the options available to him before buying. First Impressions' has its own baby clothing line - First Impressions baby clothing, that is highly regarded for the good quality of their baby clothes.

Customers have reported that other than the fact that First Impressions baby clothing roll out new designs of baby clothes every season, they are also comfortable to wear. Because First Impressions is determined to product only the finest baby wear at a cheaper price, more parents prefer First Impressions baby clothing to other brands.

Besides providing clothing for young children, First Impressions has various necessities for pregnant mothers as well. A few examples of products are: Diapers, Clothing, Accesories, Slings, Bath and more.

Shoes, trousers, tops and onesies are some of the baby boy products that First Impressions has. For baby girls, the products offered by First Impressions are tops, shoes, bottoms, dresses, onesies and headgear. Baby clothing, baby gear, baby shower items, baby slings, baby toys, dad clothing and accessories, educational items and nursing gear are some of the items that the owner of First Impressions hope to provide sometime down the road.

Although the price of baby designer clothes might turn some people off, you need to understand that there are methods to save money when you buy baby clothing.

Toddler Toys That Can Help Your Baby Walk
Toddler toys that can help your baby walk - using toddler push toys to your advantage and how to buy them

Amongst all the kinds of toddler toys that you will buy for your little one, a push toys is the most essential. Apart from the fact that these toys are an absolute must for encouraging basic motor skills like standing, walking and running in your toddler, they often turn out to be one of the all time favourites. These push toddler toys are also multifunctional and it does take a while before your child actually outgrows them.

Standing, Walking, Running...

Enhancing toddler motor skills is primary function of a 'push' toddler toy. With the help of this one toy you can help your child learn to stand, walk and even run. Using the 'push' toddler toy to stand can be done when your baby starts showing an inclination towards walking but is not yet able to do it independently. The handle of the push toy can be used as support by which your baby can raise his or herself and stand. Once your baby has mastered the art of doing this then encourage him or her to take their first steps holding their hand. You can encourage your baby to walk using the support of the push toy handle. 'Push' toddler toys like Smalltime Child's 'pushing car wooden walker', are the best way to boost a child's confidence for walking and then eventually running.
Additional Bonuses of toddler push toys

One of the few kinds of toddler toys that have multiple uses, the push toy generally comes in shape and sizes that motivate role play in toddlers. Most often you will find that the push toy has a shape of a car, a lawn mower, a vacuum cleaner etc. Some 'push' toys also serve as activity centres as they come with activities such as building blocks, shape sorters etc.

Types of 'push' toddler toys and their pros and cons

Type 1: Two-in-one push toys. These toddler toys serve a dual purpose. They serve as push toys as well as ride on toys. This toy is an economical option as the child basically gets two toys in one. It also leaves room for your child to manipulate the toys the way he or she sees fit. The only con that there could be with this toys is that when it is converted into a push toy, the child might not be able to stand behind it comfortably as the back wheels get in the way.

Type 2: 'Push' toddler toys that come with some sort of other activity. These could be in the form of maybe a music box, building blocks or shape sorters. These too can work out very economical as there are two toys packed in one.

Type 3: Toddler toys that are just plain push along toys but to compensate for that they come is various shapes that most often imitate household gadgets like a lawn mower. This encourages role play and can be used to introduce your child to household chores in a fun way.

Choosing the right toddler push toy

The most important thing to remember while choosing a toddler toy of this category is that you need to buy a sturdy one. This is the single most important feature that you would need to look for as your child is bound to try climbing and various other stunts. The toy should be able to stand without tipping over.

First Impressions Baby Clothes Online
Nowadays, fashion is not just reserved for well dressed models and actors parading on the red carpet. Even babies nowadays are fashionable. Babies nowadays are no longer seen in plain baby clothing, and parents can find alternative clothing outside of shopping centers.

There are many types of toddler clothes for parents to choose. Considering the fact that babies are often noticed to be donning haute couture pieces, smart designers have capitalized on this trend by releasing their own baby clothing line. Names such as Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger and many more have successfully solidified their position in this baby clothing niche. Many departmental stores has these famous brands, and lesser known labels like First Impressions, Greendog, Little Me and Icky Baby.
First Impressions is one of the clothing designers that seeks to make shopping a memorable experience by having different catalogues and websites. The customer can now browse through the options available to him before buying. First Impressions' has its own baby clothing line - First Impressions baby clothing, that is highly regarded for the good quality of their baby clothes.

Customers have reported that other than the fact that First Impressions baby clothing roll out new designs of baby clothes every season, they are also comfortable to wear. Because First Impressions is determined to product only the finest baby wear at a cheaper price, more parents prefer First Impressions baby clothing to other brands.

Besides providing clothing for young children, First Impressions has various necessities for pregnant mothers as well. A few examples of products are: Diapers, Clothing, Accesories, Slings, Bath and more.

Shoes, trousers, tops and onesies are some of the baby boy products that First Impressions has. For baby girls, the products offered by First Impressions are tops, shoes, bottoms, dresses, onesies and headgear. Baby clothing, baby gear, baby shower items, baby slings, baby toys, dad clothing and accessories, educational items and nursing gear are some of the items that the owner of First Impressions hope to provide sometime down the road.

Although the price of baby designer clothes might turn some people off, you need to understand that there are methods to save money when you buy baby clothing.

Flower Girl Dresses Symbol of Purity
A flower girl is a small girl who carries flowers in a marriage procession. Mostly, they are found in wedding places and also in variety of events like parades to honor queens and great celebrities. They are the symbols of purity and virginity. They need to wear a grand dress during these occasions. They are admired by all as their dress looks cute. Their dress should complement the bride's dress.

There are various patterns of dresses available for them. They normally wear the same dress as bridesmaids, but they are more styled than an adult. Modern dress has illusion netting covering the lower half of the dress. Bottom contains flowers or flower petals placed in them. Color of the flower girl dress matters a lot. Normally, their color will be in light shades compared to bridesmaid.

If you want the color of flower girl dress to be same as bridesmaid you need to go for change in style. Getting a flower girl dress is a great fun and enjoyment as it is totally different from bridesmaid dress. But at the same time we should see the comfort in dress. If it is uncomfortable for her it will be reflected in her face and behavior.

Depending on the age of flower girl the length of the dress varies. Young girls can wear short skirt and older girl can wear a skirt of longer length. These dresses can be often accompanied by a variety of matching accessories. The main role of a flower girl is to simply be adorable. Some dresses of flower girl have a crown attached to it which adds a beauty.

Many kinds of dresses are there to choose. If you have any difficulty in choosing, go to any beautiful designer and get an idea of selecting a beautiful dress. Make sure that you don't select a cheap quality fiber dress as it spoils the dress look. Throughout the bridal party, remember to carry your color and style theme, and be age appropriate with the younger girl's dresses. You'll be sure to have a wedding to remember.

As in any wedding gathering, the eyes of all the friends and relatives naturally focus on the flower girls walking besides the bride and groom, their exotic outfit plays a vital role. Many other visitors passing by the gathering would enquire about the designer too, which leads to exorbitant sales boost for the future orders.

Rent Prom Dresses Cheap at Closet Elite!
FinallyRent Prom Dresses at www.closetelite.com !

It is truly astonishing that no business has snatched up this idea before. For decades now, girls have been spending hundreds of dollars on a dress they know they'll only wear once. Prom is one of those once-in-a-lifetime memories where every girl deserves to dress like a princess and look her best, but is stuck with the dilemma of how much she should spend on a dress she knows she won't wear again. The solution for their dates has been easythey rent a tux, return it, and barely dent their wallets. But for girls, prom has always been a big financial burden.

Now a company called Closet Elite (www.closetelite.com) rents prom dresses for around even less than the rental price of a lot of tuxes. The entire store is onlinelike Netflix for dresses! Choose a dress, get is shipped to your door, and ship it back. They carry brand names, the latest styles, and a great variety. They even have insurance policies on the dresses so that you don't have to be petrified of ruining your dress all night!

Not only is Closet Elite the first company to do prom dress rentals, but they actually rent cocktail and holiday dresses too. Basically any time you have a wedding, special event, or even a hot date, you can rent a designer dress. They carry latest-season dresses from designers like Versace, Betsey Johnson, Dolce and Gabbana, Chloe, Bebe and more. And at seriously affordable prices! You can't afford not to check this out.Carrie Bradshaw would have a heart attack if she knew about this!

www.closetelite.com

7 Sexual Intercourse Positions and tips to Get Pregnant With a Baby Boy
It's becoming more commonly recognised that we now have all-natural solutions to control your child's gender or sex.
Among the easiest worth mentioning techniques is applying certain sexual acts or sexual positions.
I am going to go over the best sex positions for you to utilize when attempting to get pregnant or better yet get pregnant with a baby boy.
I'll also explain the science behind why this works.

Why does the sexual position you employ when trying to get pregnant affects the sex of the newly born baby:

Almost every one knows that most love-making positions can affect whether or not one has a boy or possibly a girl, but not everyone truly realizes why it is this way.

The answer is simple.

There are two chromosomes
The Y (boy) chromosome and X chromosome (girl)
Newborns gender is determined by the way these sperm chromosomes reach up to and fertilizes the egg .
Both chromosomes race towards the egg, but each one of them has different qualities.

Y (boy) sperm are very fast, but at the same time they are extremely weak.

X sperm are not as fast, but they are much more stronger.

If you are trying to conceive a boy, it is important to know this fact and understand that you will need to minimize the effect of the Y sperm's being weak.
These fellas start to deteriorate and die quickly. So, you'll want to do a number of things to help compensate just for this.
The sexual positions that you choose is one way to control this.

The most effective Intercourse and sexual positions for a baby boy pregnancy:

1. To Get pregnant having a male baby, you'll want to choose a position which positions the sperm as close as possible towards the egg.
This gives the fragile little guys a shorter journey and restricts their time in a hostile vaginal setting.

2. The Best regarded position to get the sperm as close as possible to the cervix is the rear entry position in which the woman is usually lying on her stomach, and places her knees at a sitting position.

3. An additional variation will have the woman sitting upright with bent knees over the edge of a bed or on the floor.
A pillow can help to raise the pelvis even more for a much deeper deposit.

4. Many think that the missionary position is good for a girl pregnancy which is true when you are using it in the conventional way.
Yet a bit of variation on this technique can achieve very deep penetration that is effective for conceiving a boy.
If the woman bends and holds her knees or places her legs at the man's neck or shoulders (sometimes called the anvil position), then the proper penetration can be easily achieved.
Again, using a pillow to raise your pelvis can make this even more effective.

Additional actions you'll want to do whenever trying to conceive a baby boy:

Sexual positioning is only one part of the system, but it's not the only part. You'll need to make every thing you can to allow the Y sperm the very best possibility, taking into consideration their general weakness.

5. Timing of Sexual Intercourse
To accomplish this you can experience sexual intercourse during the day as well as the day following ovulation.
You'll need a reliable ovulation predictor to make sure of success since accuracy is vital at this point.
You simply can't just guess.

6. Alkalizing Your Body with Lower Acid Diet .
Don't forget, Y sperm won't tolerate a hostile atmosphere and a high PH and acidity is about as hostile as you will get.
You are able to achieve a lower PH by going on a lower acid diet plan .
The most effective and best way to start is to test out your PH using testing strips that you can get at a health and fitness food retail outlet or on the web.

Then, you will know what steps you need to take to achieve your perfect PH.

7. Alkalizing your Genitals and Douching:
In addition to lower acid diet plan, there are douche options which will perform best to alkalize your genitals.

You can use whichever method or incorporate them all.
Testing and combining them all will still help to a more quicker, extra significant outcome to conceive your son.

Did Dave Pelzer's Mother from "A Child Called It" Have Borderline Personality Disorder?
During the entire time I was reading "A Child Called It' , I couldn't help but draw correlations between David Pelzer's mother (Catherine Roerva Christen Pelzer) and Borderline Personality Disorder. After I was finished reading the book, I started my search to see what mental illness Catherine had suffered. All I have managed to find was that she was mentally ill and an alcoholic. No details have emerged of what type of mental illness she suffered. So, with the facts about Catherine from "A Child Called It" and professional resources about BPD, I will pose case that Catherine suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Dave Pelzer paints the picture of a seemingly normal childhood until his mother's behavior changed radically. He describes his mother as a "wicked witch" on (pg 30), which hit the nail on the head. She exhibits the behavior of the prototypical BPD Witch. "The darkness within the borderline Witch is annihilating rage. Her inner experience is the conviction of being evil, and her behavior evokes submission... She is filled with self-hatred and may single out one child as the target of her rage. The Witch's message to her child is: Life is war" (pg 38) Lawson.

WOW. Catherine was most certainly filled with rage. Every page of that book, Catherine was filled with rage that she took out on her son day in and day out. Her inner experience is the conviction of being evil, where she even speaks of it on (pg 41) of Pelzer's book, "Now it's time I showed you what hell is like!" Throughout all of her abuse, her behavior was to evoke submission from David. She was constantly beating him down mentally, emotionally, and physically. He says that his soul was consumed in a black void from the intense abuse by his mother (pg 132). She certainly was filled with self hatred as indicated by her alcoholism, not taking care of herself ("Her once beautiful, shiny hair is now frazzled clumps. As usual, she wears no makeup. She is overweight, and she knows it. In all, this has become Mother's typcial look" pg 5), and being so filled with annihilating rage. And, the fact that the BPD Witch singles out one child as a target of her rage is so revealing because Catherine singled out David. For years he was the only child abused. When David was put into foster care, the younger brother was then singled out as the target of her rage.

David was without a doubt the "no-good child"; however, remarkably he didn't turn-out to be what Lawson identified as the lost child (pg 171). His mother, Catherine, called him a "bad boy", and an entire chapter is devoted to the "bad boy" David.
Catherine had David look in the mirror and recite, "I'm a bad boy" repeatedly (pg 31). Even though he was successful with school, his mother told him he was a "bad boy" and held him back in the 1st grade (pg 36). David was left out of Christmas due to Santa only bringing "good boys and girls" toys (pg 38). His mother accuses David of making her life a "living hell" (pg 41) and talks to the other siblings saying how she didn't have to worry about them becoming like David, "a bad boy" (pg 43). Even when David was awarded the honor of naming the school newspaper, Catherine says, "There is nothing you can do to impress me! Do you understand me? You are a nobody! An IT! You are nonexistent! You are a bastard child! I hate you and I wish you were dead. Dead! Do you hear me? Dead!" (pg 140).
As mentioned above, the BPD Witch's message to her child is that life is war. David recieved that message pretty early into the story as he states on (pg 43), "For the first time, I had won! Standing alone in that damp, dark garage, I knew, for the first time, that I could survive. I decided that I would use any tactic I could think of to defeat Mother or to delay her from her grizzly obsession." Catherine put David in the middle of an all out war with her, even making him sit in the prisoner of war position (pg 50, 84, 111, 114, 123) by sitting on his hands with his head thrust backward. Lawson states (pg 125), "The Witch's children feel like prisoners of a secret war."

In Lawson (pg 137), rejection triggers the desperate fear of sinking into the cold, dark abyss of abandonment, a fate the BPD Witch feels worse than death. Catherine was an alcoholic who had been drinking from the age of 13. Brought up in the Mormon community of Salt Lake City, she would hide in the outhouse during Prohibition to wince down bootleg whiskey. Her parents were divorced, which made them outcasts in that religious community, and Catherine was frequently locked in a closet, denied food, and told how despicable she was. Catherine primarily appears as a Witch, which a BPD who primarily appear as a Witch is filled with self-hatred as a result of surviving a childhood that required complete submission to a hostile or sadistic caregiver (pg 131) Lawson.

The BPD Witch is sadistically controlling and punitive with her children where they fear their survival. The Witch's children are forced to submit to her control and may be victims of sadistic emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. Lawson explains, "Therapists hear horrifying stores of child abuse that never make the headlines... Some children may not survive simply because they are too young to get away" (pg 122). David Pelzer is VERY fortunate that he survived his horrifying ordeal with his mother.

Throughout the book, David speaks of being able to survive his mother's abuse. He made a promise to himself when the discipline drastically turned to punishment out of control, "I knew, for the first time, that I could survive. I decided that I would use any tactic I could think of to defeat Mother... I knew if I wanted to live, I would have to think ahead... I could never give in to her. That day I vowed to myself that I would never, ever again give that bitch the satisfaction of hearing me beg her to stop beating me" (pg 43). He later refers back to that promise when he was stabbed by his mother, "I wanted to lie down and quit, but the promise I made years ago kept me going. I wanted to show The Bitch that she could beat me only if I died, and I was determined not to give in, even to death" (pg 91). He was a survivor from the start through his determination of thought. References of survival also include:
He also talks about that "water was my only means of survival" (pg 104) as his mother starved him for ten consecutive days. Later, when his mother used chlorine gas while locking him in the bathroom, David relates that "to survive her new game, I had to use my head" (pg 108). He started to lose his instinct for survival when his mother had him sit in POW style on a 1 inch diameter of rocks, stating "all my efforts for mere survival seemed futile. My attempts to stay one step ahead of Mother were useless. A black shadow was always over me" (pg 111).
Because the Witch emerges when the mother and child are alone, no witnesses can verify the child's experience (pg 125) Lawson. Catherine typically abused David when no one else was around, making sure to cover up the abuse if and when family members returned to the house. David says on pg 42, "I knew Mother never acted his bizarre when anyone else was in the house."
When Ron came home, Catherine ceased to attempt to burn David further on the stove (pg 42). When Catherine tried to have David eat the dirty diapers, the abuse stopped when Ron, Stan, and David's father returned to the vacation cabin (pg 57). David always noted that he appreciated when his father was home, calling him his protector, as the abuse was not as prevalent. (pg 101). When he would come home from school and his brothers weren't home, David knew that his mother's "game" would be full force. After Ron and Stan went go to bed, Catherine ordered David upstairs to feed him ammonia (pg 73). David even devotes an entire chapter to "When Father is Away", starting the chapter with, "When he was home, Mother only did about half the things that she did when he was gone" (pg 101).
The BPD Witch can be cruel to the target of her rage; however other children may not perceive her as a Witch if they do not possess qualities that trigger her rage. With the information contained in Pelzer's book, Catherine did not treat the older two or younger baby abusively. They were immune to her physical abuse. Being cruel, the BPD Witch may make a statement such as "I'm going to make your life a living Hell" or "I'm going to kill you" (pg 137) states Lawson. Catherine said both of these statements to David: (pg 41) "Now it's time I showed you what hell is like!" and (pg 85) "If you don't finish on time, I'm going to kill you." David continues by saying that she said that same statement over and over for almost a week (pg 86).

The need for power and control over others is important to the BPD Witch as well as the need to elicit a response of fear and shock. Catherine certainly illustrated how she needed each of these. She exerted power over David, reducing him to a "slave" (pg 50, 84, 126), an "it" (pg 140), and "the boy" (pg 50). She controlled every part of his life down to what he ate (or rather, what he didn't eat). He was controlled through having to "work" constantly around the house with only being allowed to attend school. Her pathological "needs" resulted in David viewing his home as a "madhouse" (pg 104) and "hell house " (pg 137), as well as his existance as a "morbid life" (pg 116). He felt as if his soul was consumed in a "black void" (pg 132).

She used fear and shock throughout her abuse. He was relegated to the basement on a cot, not knowing when he would be fed, allowed to see sunlight, or beat (ten rounders (pg 111), whipped with dog chains (pg 116), broom handle blows to the backs of legs (pg 117)). He was often intense with fear: shaking, unable to concentrate, heart skipping beats, and startled. He was put though tremendous shocking situations such as being fed ammonia, subjected to chlorine gas, submerged under cold water for long lengths of time, burned on a gas stove, arm dislocated, stabbed in the abdomen, smashed into the counters breaking his teeth, forced to eat dirty diapers & rancid food, and so much more.

Children who resist the control face worse punishment. David did not resist her control. He knew the rules & punishments to his mother's "game": (1) if he took too long to do his chores, his mother would withhold food (2) if he looked at one of his siblings without permission, he was slapped (3) if he was caught taking food, he was subjected to hideous punishment (pg 83).

David did not resist control. He would do everything in his power to get his work done under her strict time restraints. He says (pg 50) during the time when he had to stand until summoned to perform chores, "It was made very clear that getting caught sitting or lying down in the basement would bring dire consequences. I had become my Mother's slave." Without putting up a fight, he took his "punishments": remaining in the chlorine gas filled bathroom, submerged under cold water & then forced to sit outside on rocks 1 inch in diameter (Bathtub and Backyard Treatment pg 114), and skating in icy cold weather without appropriate clothing (pg 120). Additionally, he would sit for extraordinary lengths of time on the bottom step standing and in POW position as she instructed. Once when he decided to not "take anybody's crap anymore" (pg 142), the results were a stomping from his brothers and Mother, a special batch of chlorine gas in the bathroom, and a choking.

Destroying valued objects and being intentionally withholding, the BPD Witch may intentionally withhold what their children need. David's mother withheld food from David, severely starving him. He only had his brother's left-overs from breakfast on occasion, a P&J sandwich with a few carrot sticks for lunch, and rarely any dinner. Due to the obsession to find food, David resorted to taking other kid's lunches, (pg 48), food from the grocery store (pg 59), frozen cafeteria food (pg 63), begging for food (pg 69), and frozen from from his basement (pg 79). He also would eat scraps from his garbage can after his family ate (pg 62) until his mother started to add ammonia to the waste or planting rotten food so that he would get sick (pg 63). She also would tease the starving boy by putting food in front of him then taking it away (Two Minute Game pg 105 -107). When she found out about his eating of frozen cafeteria food, she forced him to vomit it up by forcing her finger down his throat, scooping the vomit out of the toilet, and then eating the vomit later that evening (pg 66 - 68).

Along with withholding food, Catherine also intentionally withheld proper hygiene and clothes for David. Kids made fun of him for how he smelled calling him David Pelzer-Smellzer, and teachers not used to his smell wave their hands in front of their face. He was consistently in tattered and worn clothes, even if new clothes existed in the home for him.
David says, "Because my Mother had me wear the same clothes week after week, by October my clothes had become weathered, torn, and smelly" (pg 47). He continues further in the chapter, "In September, I returned to school with last year's clothes" (pg 57). He indicates that his mother had newer clothes for him but withheld them: "One Sunday during the last month of summer ... Mom let me put on new clothes that I had received last Christmas" (pg 123). By the time he was rescued, "My long sleeve shirt has more holes than Swiss cheese. It's the same shirt I've worn for about two years. Mother has me wear it every day as her way to humiliate me. My pants are just as bad, and my shoes have holes in the toes. I can wiggle my big toe out of one of them" (pg 6).
The BPD Witch organizes a "campaign of denigration", enlisting others as allies against the target of her rage. "She may seek out friends, family members (including siblings and children), and co-workers of her victim in whom to confide fabricated stories designed to discredit her enemy" (pg 141) says Lawson. David's mother, Catherine, denigrated David by turning family against David including his father and other siblings. She also had the school turned against him, pegging him as a thief and "bad boy". She told neighbors negative things about David, further denigrating him. Many believe the allegations because of the intensity of emotion. When the ability to enlist allies disrupts and divides groups, such as neighbors and the school system, that could actually help him.

The Witch does not recognize boundaries and exploit the child's trust by denying right to privacy and humiliating & degrading the child.
Catherine stripped off David's clothes having him stand naked, where he "shook from a combination of fear and embarrassment" (pg 40). For months, David was forced to sleep under the breakfast table next to a cat litter box with newspapers as his covers (pg 68). After his mother made David drink dish-washing soap, David needed to use the bathroom and begged his mother to use the bathroom, and she refused. David "stood downstairs, afraid to move, as clumps of the watery matter fell through my underwear and down my pant legs, onto the floor. I felt so degraded; I cried like a baby. I had no self respect of any kind... I felt lower than a dog" (pg 77). While lying naked in the tub submerged as his mother instructed, his brothers would come into the bathroom, glare at him, shake their heads, and turn away (pg 113). After all the humiliation he endured, he talks about how he ate like a homeless dog, grunted to communicate, didn't care if he was made fun of, and nothing was below him (pg 132). At one point, his morale became so low that he hoped to be killed (pg 141).
The BPD Witch seeks and marries a "Fisherman", someone she can dominate and control, which is EXACTLY who Catherine married. Stephen Pelzer was completely dominated and controlled by Catherine. He was a subservient partner who relinquished his will at her command (pg 179), as Lawson describes the Fisherman. Further, this type of husband has little or no self-esteem and see himself as a loser. He also fails to protect his children from abuse. All of these characteristics fit Stephen who does not step in to stop the abuse (pg 50, 58):
When David was first deprived of food, Stephen gives David scraps of food and tries to get Catherine to change her mind about feeding David. Catherine and Stephen begin to fight, and as the arguments between them became more frequent, the Stephen began to change-- he is not around for David. When David was forced to eat his own vomited hot dog, his father "stood like a statue"and watched him eat something "a dog wouldn't touch" after unsuccessfully "trying to talk Mother out of her demand" (pg 66 -67) David's father stood by as David's mother refused to let David use the bathroom but instead had to use a five-gallon bucket to relieve his diarrhea (pg 77). David's father started to help David with the dishes. Catherine stopped this, as well as she said that Stephen gave David too much attention. After that, David notes that his father "gave up" (pg 101 -102). When David was stabbed by his mother, David's father didn't even look at David when David reported the incident.
David said, "I knew that Mother controlled him like she controlled everything that happened in her house... All my respect for my Father was gone" (pg 90 - 91). Stephen gave up on David without a fight and started not even staying at home on his days off. One day he told David that he was sorry (pg 103) and eventually left the family all together (pg151), leaving David at the hands of his terribly abusive mother, Catherine. David said that he was fully aware of his father's lack of courage to rescue him, and he hated him for it (pg 134).

Marsha Linehan, in her book Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of the Borderline Patient, describes the normalcy that BPD's present to others. When people around the BPD mother hear her complaining about her child, the assumption is that the child is troubled rather than the mother. Further in social settings, the BPD mother may be engaging, gracious, and endearing.
David talks about how when his mother was a den mother for the Cub Scouts, the kids commented how they wished their mother was like Catherine (pg 39). She snowed the school administration by showing up with her infant son in her arms and agreeing to cooperate with the school regarding David (pg 53). Additionally, he notes that in the presence of neighbors, his mother "played the role of the loving, caring parent-- just as she had when she was a Cub Scout den mother" (pg 122). Catherine also painted a different picture of their home life when David's Grandmother came for the holidays (pg 126).
Lawson points out that "children have faith in their parents and believe in their greater wisdom. No child wants to believe that his mother is capable of brutality" (pg 273).
After stabbing David, he accepted his mother's increased compassion towards him. He hoped that she was trying to make up to him and hoping that he was back into the "family fold" (pg 94). Later that night, when he goes to bed with the large laceration, he goes so far to say "I felt safe knowing she was nearby to watch over me" (pg 95). Before a visit from Social Services, Catherine manipulates David into thinking that his ordeal was over and that she will "try to be a good mother" (pg 123). He even starts calling her "Mom" at this point. Near the end of the book, David is called an "It" by his mother, and he reveals, "I gave all that I could to accomplish anything possible for her recognition. But again, I failed. Mother's words were no longer coming from the booze; they were coming from her heart" (pg 141).
So, even through the devastating and intense abuse, David still held onto the hope that his mother loved him and that she would return to being a nurturing and caring parent.

Through and through, I believe that Catherine suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder. She illustrates the maternal functioning of a Borderline Mother, including:
Confusing her child Not apologizing for or remember inappropriate behavior Expects to be taken care of Punishes or discourages independence Envies, ignores, or demeans her children's accomplishments Destroys, denigrates, or undermines self-esteem Expects children to respond to her needs Frightens and upsets children Disciplines inconsistently or punitively Feels left out, jealous, or resentful if child is loved by someone else Uses threats or abandonment (or actual abandonment) to punish the child Does not believe in her children's basic goodness Does not trust her children
Catherine fully qualifies for each of these points. Further and more specifically, as the Witch BPD mother, she sent the following messages to David:
I could kill you You will be sorry You won't get away with this You deserve to suffer I'd be better off without you You'll never escape my control It's my right as your parent to control you I'm going to make you pay
The Witch's child is raised in a hopeless situation-- and David made it out with his resolve, smart thinking, and strong will. The Witch's words can be vile, her heart cold as stone-- thankfully David survived the vile words and the heartless mother to become a highly successful man and an inspiration for all.